It is funny that I was so worried about my privacy for my blog and it's been opened for a week and no one has read it. LIM.
Anyway, I wish to report that I am so so sooooooooo grateful to have the best family in the whole world. My Mr Amazing and two wonderbubble boys that I adore. It pleases me that despite everything we have experienced, we are still happy together.
Our shop situation is still fragile. Details details details. I don't even want to think about them, but now we have had to engage our lawyer and oh yuk. That is the shop that we don't talk about (which clearly I am talking [typing] about). The other shop has shifted locations over the weekend in a grand event that saw lots of bodies painting, moving boxes, putting up shop fittings and unpacking boxes. It was very busy and Princess Moon was given the job of caring for her own two children and one other and this was the sum total of her contribution.
Keeping a few children alive and happy was enough to exhaust this self declared princess. This exhaustion is ongoing and unceasing. I want it to stop.
Today I ate two biscuits that I baked and I still am scared that they are making me Princess Plump. Anorexia is in my brain and is making its mark on what I do and don't do. Still because I do not appear to have lost weight so do not 'look' like anorexia is plaguing me. Although I have declared it and fessed up to those who need to know, I still feel like I am protecting a secret. Blah, my brain and trains are so mixed up and it is hard to keep up and I think it would be easier to just stay in my head and count. However, I cannot and I'm scared lots and lots about what I have eaten and what I might eat later. The counting is better, reassuring and safe.
I think that little of what I type makes sense as I jump from one thing to the next. Oh well, it is out of my head a bit.
Moondrop out.
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A. Don't think that people aren't reading just if there are no comments! You never know :)
ReplyDeleteB. You also did 1 meter of painting and carried some boxes!
C. The people that need to know believe you and that is why they are being more rigid with you, so even though you feel like you have a secret (I think because you feel you do not "look" anorexic), it isn't a secret and it IS believed and you will win the war!
*hugs* xox