My dear Hubby (A) came home last night after being away for four days. He had a great time away and I think that coming home for him must have been disappointing as nothing has changed and I'm still sick and the house is still scary. How wonderbubble it would have been for him to come home and find the house in order and me well, with no pain and all the energy I needed. Anyway, it didn't happen.
Today I am feeling sad because I have let A down and sore because it is a day ending in Y and tired for the same reason. The bones in my left leg are really really hurting today and it hurts to bare any weight on them. Oh well.
I continue to think that losing weight will help me a lot with the pain and energy. I know I have more energy when I am not eating so much...to a point. I also know from experience that I have less pain generally and also in specific areas, including my back, legs and bowel when eating less than is required. I see my ED psychologist on Tuesday and I do not think I am supposed to tell her how tempting it is to start restricting in earnest when I am clearly at a healthy weight.
Blah blah blah. I'm complaining.
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You may complain ALLLL you like, it is your blog :)
ReplyDeleteI think you ARE meant to tell your psych how tempting it is to start restricting and she can help you NOT do that. I do wish though that there was an agreeable way with your body to NOT be in so much pain AND not need to restrict to get there!!!
How did you let A down?
I am sorry you are not fixed but I don't love you because you're fixed or not, but simply because you are you.
*gentle loving hugs*